Tips for a safe and successful Halloween season

Since All Hallow's Eve is right around the corner I have been racking my brain about what I should be for Halloween. I have also been telling myself it is ok to eat lots of candy because it is that time of year. So I thought this would be a great time to make a list! I haven't done one of my lists in so long that you would have to archive all the way back to college to find one on here that is even remotely entertaining. Now that All Hallow's Eve is approaching at a scarily rapid speed here goes nothing! (not that I'm promising this is going to be remotely entertaining)

31 things to do to make for a safe and successful Halloween season:

1. Think about what you can be for Halloween

2. Tell yourself you will come up with something before then so not to stress

3. Get stressed anyway because your costume has to be just as good or better than last year
4. Continue to feel stressed, yet still do nothing about it. Well, maybe a google search of "Halloween Costumes" to get ideas

5. Get annoyed that you could find nothing and then deem google an unworthy search site.
6. Plan a haunted party

7. Realize it's going to cost a lot to make things actually look haunted--no one believes the old "sheet over your body" as a ghost anymore. I mean, it's the 2000s now.

8. Give yourself a pat on the back for at least thinking about it--you really did have good intentions

9. Go to a haunted house

10. Leave the haunted house realizing you just paid way too much money for people with make-up to yell in your face

11. Also realize as you're leaving that you just waited in line for over an hour and got through the actual haunted house in less than ten minutes

12. Laugh at life's little ironies and tell your friends you can't wait to do it again next year

13. Get into the spirit and decorate your house! (do not stand on glass tables no matter how badly you want to hang flags with pictures of cute little pumpkins from your ceiling)

14. Paint some pumpkins and get high from the spray paint fumes. Then you can laugh in a silly manner about nothing at all really

15. Set it on your stoop for all the world to see

16. Hope it doesn't rot before All Hallow's Eve actually comes

17. Watch scary movies and later extremely regret it

18. Hope your new tired state (since you can't sleep at night after all those scary movies) won't hinder your costume search

19. Wonder when everyone else suddenly came up with great costume ideas

20. Think about that haunted house again, realizing you can actually do it for free

21. Have people pose creepily in random places as your guests arrive. Once the guests have been frightened, have them join in the creepy posing. Make sure to have old school organ music playing the the background and no lights except candlelight.

22. Reminisce about the good old days when you used to trade candy after trick-or-treating
23. Also reminisce about how getting candy from your neighbors was the biggest day of the month. Realize that would still be a pretty big day.

24. Think about other Hallow's Eves you can barely remember because jungle juice sounded better than candy

25. Wonder what happened to all your old costumes

26. Look ferociously until giving up and buying a new one (when you finally do figure out what you'll be)

27. Become disgusted with American society for spending so much money on one silly day that holds no real meaning

28. Admit you are just as American as the rest of them and go by yourself some more candy

29. Don't make a costume that is too tricky to take off just in case you get lucky later that night

30. Or maybe, after all that candy you ate this month you should be a mummy--by the time you get all those layers off the other person will have probably passed out. Thanks to Hershey's, it will be for the best.

31. Remember this is a time of festive frivolity and there is no need to get stressed out. But if you do, just grab some chocolate, that always calms the nerves.

Happy Haunting!

BOO!