Squattie Pottie

So I just did one of the most single uncomfortable things of all of my 22 years of life. I used the squattie pottie. It was just as I dreaded. Now, to most people this is not really a big deal, yet most people aren’t afraid of to going to the bathroom in public normally. Let me repeat: I am uncomfortable going to the bathroom in public places ANYWAY. So this just amplified my phobia. The only thing that was good about this completely terrible situation was that I was the only one in the bathroom.

For those of you who have never experienced the lovely “squattie pottie” you are in for quite the exciting treat. I had heard about it, I had read about it, but there is nothing that can prepare you for when the time comes that you actually have to use it. Here at the school it looks like a normal toilet except for the fact that the porcelain is IN the ground. And there is no seat to sit comfortably on. And it is awkward.

I guess that will be the first of many times I will have to use the great invention of the in-the-ground-porcelain. How exciting.

Today has just been one of those days. But before I get ahead of myself let me backtrack to when I arrived in Tokyo.

So we did a bunch of orientation stuff. Lectures basically about what your time might be like in Japan. Lectures about what might happen in Japan. Yet obviously lectures cannot prepare you for real life experience. So although it was very organized and somewhat helpful, they were just lectures. I met a bunch of people from all around the world—England, South Africa, New Zealand, all over the U.S…and we all had a 3 day honeymoon if you will. We were in Japan surrounded by people that were not Japanese. When we weren’t in lectures about saving money, teaching class, representing our countries well, and learning the Japanese ways, we walked around the city, hung out, ate and sang karaoke. It was really good to meet people, and I know I will be seeing my Kumamoto group in a few weeks. The hotel was great, the service was nice, the food was decent and the gajiin (foreigners) were plentiful.

Alas, as all honeymoons do, ours too came to an abrupt end. We flew out to our contracting organizations and we are now spread out all throughout Japan. Our group left yesterday morning and arrived in the great city of Kumamoto. From there our teachers whisked us away before we even had a chance to breathe and I have been going non-stop ever since. I came back the my base school—Matsubase (pronounced Mas-tsu-bas-ehh) with some teachers, students and my predecessor and from there went to my apartment to drop off some bags, and then to the train station. At my school I met a lot of teachers where my pathetic attempt at Japanese became inevitable and I received a lot of awkward smiles and stares. Which continue to this day. I am going to need to study some Japanese because when people are talking I feel as though I am not there or I am watching a bad TV show and I can’t find the remote.

I took the train into the city with Paul, my predecessor and another teacher from the school. Paul was extremely helpful until he left. At that point he ceased to be helpful. Then awkward town, Japan was in full throttle. The other teacher and I made some small talk (since I speak no Japanese and she spoke little English small was the biggest we could do) until I arrived at the station where my homestay family picked me up. Not that it matters now (or I guess it does), but I wish I would have paid a little more attention on my way to this staion because I had no idea where to get off (since the teacher helped me) and I have to do it again today by myself. I have no phone, no language and if I get lost I’m in big trouble. So let us hope for the best and pray for my life. Just kidding. Kind of.

My homestay family is extremely helpful and I could not have asked for a nicer group of people. The main lady (I can’t remember anyone’s name here and it’s driving me nuts) Hiroko I believe… is great and speaks a good amount of English. She is about 40 and single so she still lives with her parents. Very strange for us but I think that’s more the norm for single Japanese women. Her sister and her two sons were over last night which made for a very entertaining dinner. Everything is so different there that I am on constant alert so I don’t do anything wrong. I took a very interesting shower—it was like a little room with a bath in it. But you shower in the room, not the bath. The bath is for sitting in and relaxing after the shower. It’s confusing I know—I don’t even know if I did it right. I don’t know how it works honestly. It’s pretty cool, although I don’t know if I could use something like that forever. Just like everything here it takes some getting used to.

They feed me a giant dinner and I know that if I lived there for the whole year I would be fat. I don’t know how they aren’t. I think it’s the fact that although they eat a lot of food none of it is high in fat or sugar so it works…

We chatted and had tea after dinner, dessert and the shower and then I headed to bed as soon as they set up the futon for me. Thank the Lord there was air con in that room because I would have died in that heat while sleeping. It sure is muggy here. Luckily the staff room and the classrooms at the school have air conditioning, I really lucked out. Some schools don’t have any at all. Sleeping on basically the floor is going to take some getting used to, especially since my bed at home is the most comfortable bed in the world. Seriously. I will have a bed battle with you if you think that yours is more comfortable. And you will lose. I guess I shouldn’t be talking right now because I’m sleeping on a thin mat on the floor.

This morning my supervisor (I actually know his name!!) came and picked me up from my homestay’s house and brought me to school. From there some teachers spent about 2 hours trying to get me hooked up to the internet here (I still can’t get on my blog or facebook! L I’m writing this on word so I can transfer it to my blog later) and then my supervisor went to the bank for over an hour, and to the 7-11 ATMS forever and nothing seemed to be going right. It took us forever to set up an account and then I could not get any money to pay for my rent. At least I know that I will be a certified alien by the end of the week when I get my alien registration card. Being an alien is always comforting…

As much trouble as we had figuring things out the people have been SO nice. Unbelievably so. They even have a costumer service phone HOOKED UP to the ATM at the 7-11 so you can call if you have any problems. I never understand a word they are saying besides Hai (yes) which they say every 2 seconds, but I do know they are being nice!

We got to drive around town to complete these tasks and I got to see the beautiful country side. It is more green here than I have ever seen. Besides Hawaii. I can’t wait to start touring around (starting this weekend—my family is taking me to see either Mt. Aso, the biggest volcano caldera in the world or Kumamoto castle) and taking pictures. Gotta love the pictures.
I am sitting in the staff room right now and it is summer vacation but a lot of the teachers are still here. They work very hard even during the summer holidays.

Now I am in my homestay’s house and I am watching “The Golden Compass”, which is quite good although I just missed like an hour of it. I ate some squid, fish, rice, salad and some other things that I asked about but I am not sure what they are…It sort of tasted like spicy Jell-o…Very interesting. Ok now the dumb dog is barking at me like it’s never seen me before. I just saw you stupid! Geeze.

Back to earlier, thankfully I was able to catch the train and ride it to the right station for my homestay to pick me up. I got some help from some locals who could luckily speak English. It is amazing how many people speak English and how helpful they are. After we got back from the train station I wrote/read some e-mails on a computer that was crowded with Kanji and English letters. I had a hard time knowing my family is in Hawaii and I am not with them. It will be hard for me no matter where I am. I guess I can always go back to Hawaii…I think I am just starting to get homesick. According to the culture shock “guide” I will probably be in a more sad state in the next few weeks. It could last a short time or a long time, it just depends on who you are and what you do to get out of it. I am planning on trying to be productive and active by crying in my room watching movies. Just kidding! I am going to find the dang pool and swim and then see what clubs or sports are around these parts. As well as learn some Japanese.
After the e-mails we went to go find me a cell phone. Unfortunately the place we wanted was closed and all of the other phones were for a 2 year contract. So we are going to get one tomorrow that works.

In the past few days I’ve begun to understand how hard it would truly be if one was illiterate—you would not be able to get by without help all the time. It would be quite the pathetic existence.

I keep getting offered food and drink and I have just started turning it down because I am too full. I don’t know really how, I don’t feel like I am eating all that much, but I guess I am…? I hope she doesn’t think it’s rude. I am trying my best to do what they said about what is rude and what is not. Some of it surprised me a lot. Let me enlighten my readers who are still here.

Things that are rude in Japan:

Not reading a business card right after you get it
Putting soy sauce on your rice
Not wearing indoor shoes
Walking while eating (it actually means you are poor)
Talking on the phone on the train or subway
Not finishing all of your rice (which I did today but I’m not going to make my stomach hurt just to try not to be rude)
Putting your chopsticks straight up in your bowl (they do that at funerals)
Passing food between chopsticks (they pass the bones of their cremated relatives like that)

Interesting, eh?

Aw, the Dad here is so cute. He just got back from ballroom dancing. Which is really hard for them to say because they don’t have the “L” or the “R” sound like we do. They have been practicing saying it for a few minutes now. Melts my heart.

I am so glad this family is so helpful. I hope that I am not too lonely when I move into my apartment this weekend. It will be another thing I have never experienced before –living alone. I’m a little worried, but I think that it will be something I need to do. I think it is something that everyone needs to do at some point. I believe that people can learn a lot about themselves living alone and living with people. Which is why there is time in this life to do both!

I just flicked a pretty good sized ant. Speaking of bugs oh man are the cicadas LOUD here. And plentiful. There was even a butterfly in the store where we were looking at cell phones. It was a beautiful one too, I sure hope they didn’t kill it. We were all a little surprised it was in there. It was the one time I felt truly connected to people who don’t speak English. We were all laughing, which felt good. It’s been too long since I’ve actually laughed. I laughed at the bank for no reason besides the fact that it was just plain silly how they are so strict about their paperwork and they wear the silliest looking uniforms. Everyone does, I feel like I am in the 50’s or something, like in the movie Pleasantville. The police officers look the most ridiculous. Their little hats are so funny looking.

The other thing that is crazy is the driving. It’s on the other side of the road and I always forget. I keep getting thinking they are turning the wrong way. I guess I don’t have to worry about it since I won’t be driving, but it is hard to conceptualize. They love their box cars they are everywhere. So ugly.

I am beginning to crave English speakers’ contact. I have to talk in slow motion so they can understand me. But at least they can understand me. God knows that I don’t know a word they are saying. At least I got to teach my supervisor how to say “Oh man. I was totally spacing today!”, after he told me he had forgotten something. I then tried to tell him that sometimes I say I am a space cadet but that was completely confusing and there was no real way for me to explain it. I have also been teaching my homestay lady some English, and she has been teaching me lots of Japanese. Most of which I forget shortly after. I hope at least a few words stick with me.

This has to be the longest post ever. I have been writing this on word for a few days because I have not had the opportunity to transfer it over. I presume it will be a few weeks before I can because it takes two weeks to get an internet license here. You have to apply for it. I can’t even imagine the uprising back at home if we were to change that. It also takes way too much work for foreigners to get phones. I am now writing on Saturday (I think I started on Wednesday) and I tried to get a cell phone last night and I have to wait for my alien registration card to come to me. Again, they said that takes about two weeks. So I am phoneless and internetless (except for at school minus fb and blog) for the next two weeks. I don’t know how I will possibly survive. Makes life much harder, especially when I can’t talk to my mom :(

Yesterday was a pretty good day until later. I just stayed in the staff room in the morning until the English dept. head took me to my apartment and showed me what the buttons on the remote for the AC said as well as the TV. I grabbed some clothes and we headed to the closest convini (I don’t know if that’s how you spell it, but it’s a convenience store) and I got a bite to eat. I then went back to school where I tried to start making my first lesson on my introduction as well as wrote my speech for the staff that I will present on Monday. My supervisor then took me to city hall (for the third time) to sign some papers for my apartment and then he took me to lunch. We went to one of those sushi places where the food goes around on a giant spinning thing and you can choose what you want off of that. He ordered from the waitress though because it looked like most of the food on the conveyer belt had been sitting there all day. Lunch was good, and considering the language barrier, we seemed to do pretty well. He told me at one point that Maroon 5 was his favorite band and I couldn’t help but laugh.

After that I went back to school and some of the kids were there practicing for the festival in Matsubase so they wanted to show me what they were doing. They we spinning plates and bowls on long, thin sticks (I don’t think they told me the name of it), and they urged me to try. So I did—I gave it the old college try. I think I failed pretty miserably, but at least I tried. There were a few times where I started to get it spinning and I got an applause from the audience, so at least they were being nice about my miserable failing. I love talking to the kids, it makes me excited for school to start. There’s less awkwardness and they aren’t afraid to practice their English. At least the ones that I’ve met thus far aren’t. I’m sure that will change in the classroom. Every high school girl that I have met so far thinks I am “beautiful” or they say I am “cute-a”, there’s a little “a” sound there at the end. I just laugh and thank them. And say oh how you are so wrong. Just kidding, I don’t say that.

After that my supervisor dropped me off at the train station again and I took the train to Kumamoto and from there I took it to Tatsudaguchi where my homestay lady picked me up. Although I have now done this three times, I still get nervous that I am on the wrong train. So I always ask someone by just saying the name of the station, pointing to the train, and when they nod I say “Arigato gozimasu” (means thank you, you don’t pronounce the “U”). I have a very sophisticated system.

When we got back we went to the cell phone place where we stayed for over an hour trying to get a damn phone. There were multiple problems; money, contract length and the fact that I am not yet a registered alien. Therefore apparently I have no rights. So I wasn’t allowed to get a phone. At one point I wanted to say a slew of cuss words (which probably would have been ok since no one would have been able to understand me), but I refrained and just smiled and thanked them when I left. It’s so hard to be rude when everyone else is so nice. So I can’t have a phone for two weeks which made me almost cry in the car on the way to dinner because I want to talk to my family so badly. It will be almost a month by the time I hear my mom’s voice and that is NOT ok.

I was able to hold back my tears the rest of the drive to dinner. We went to Mai Thai which was SO good, I felt better almost immediately after our food arrived. I know, sad that food can make me forget all of my worries. Unfortunately it is just a temporary fix, I know I will become frustrated again soon enough. We had pretty good conversation, I am beginning to feel much more comfortable around Hiroko and although we have trouble expressing what we want to say, we always figure out how to say it (she even has an electronic dictionary that she carries around just in case she cannot say a word). We then went to see her sister and her sons play a little volleyball at a hot and stuffy gym, yet we were so tired we only stayed for about ten minutes before heading home and going to bed.

Today I have time to just relax (and write) because Hiroko has some music lessons to teach in town and her parents are both gone for the day. I am going to take a shower and I was going to use the internet, but Hiroko forgot to enter her password on the computer in her room so I have to wait for her to get back. Just another annoyance when it comes to technology. When she gets back we are going to go to Kumamoto castle—a very old and giant castle about 30 minutes away from here, and then they are having a BBQ tonight. It sounds like a small crowd will be there, most of which I will not be able to talk to. Oh well, so it goes.

Tomorrow I will be going to my apartment to live, my homestay family is taking me and then taking me to the store where I will probably be completely overwhelmed. I can regretfully say that I cannot cook anything other than grilled cheese and pasta, so this should be an interesting experience. Later I will have to practice riding my bike to school from my apartment so I don’t get lost tomorrow on my way to work. So there’s my first (well first REAL) week in Japan. A lot of small frustrations, yet nothing major and it should all be smoothed out in time. It is hard to say now, but I can say with a little confidence that I will hopefully become comfortable and happy in this town. Right now it is still freshly overwhelming.

Until my next 6 page story…Sayonara!