Ashley and I
Saturday, May 28, 2005
Thursday, May 26, 2005
Take forever!
Yes I am back, yet sadly there are no pictures to show. Well actually there are, but I can't scan them in because my printer isn't hooked up. So I need to do that. Hook up my printer that is. I wish I could hook up something else.... Ok I am in a weird mood, I probably shouldn't be writing in here, I should go to bed like most normal people. But I am not normal. SO I DON'T WANNA GO TO BED OK?! Ok now that's settled I have a few things I would like to say.
First of all swimming is going, well, swimmingly. It's just fine, I think that things are going to be ok. It was refreshing to swim for Jim again. Secondly, work starts soon and I am head guard! Whohoo! That's the highlight of my life. That I am head guard at the pool my dad manages. So cool, I know. Thirdly, I have no life so I spend a lot of it sleeping. I guess that's good for now considering I will have to do something else when that something else starts. O! And I cleaned my room today and talked on the phone with just about everyone I know. And Creek's graduation is tomorrow, but I don't think I will go. Whatever, I am rambling...Anydangway, I like wireless internet. And cheese. Mmmm cheese cubes. But sometimes I eat too much and my stomach hurts.
Ok, so I have a interesting story. I woke up in a closet the other day.
The end.
Ok, I will tell it in it's entirity.
Went to Matt's for a good time, and it seems like pretty much everyone had a little too good of a time. I won't name names but one person wandered around the neighborhood until her mom had to come drive her home, another broke into someone's house and passed out on their couch. Needless to say they got an MIP. Someone else got sick, and some dumb girl woke up in a closet. Wow. But who says you can't learn something new everytime you go out. Here are some things I learned:
1. Slimfast proves to be a good chaser
2. Teaching people how to do the worm is a little more difficult than it seems
3. Charging your cellular phone before going out is always a good idea, because then you don't look like as much of a loser sitting by all the booze...by yourself.
4. Sleeping in closets is much better than the grass. I'm glad I figured that one out.
5. It's a little awkard when the mom of the person's house you were at makes you hashbrowns in the morning...when everyone is still feeling the effects of the night before.
6. Knocking on people's doors to find someone at nine in the morning is not as fun as it sounds, because I know, it does sound fun. But don't let it trick you.
7. I don't think that anyone would really fall for the hitch hiking to inverness plan.
So that was the party to kick off the summer I guess. It will probably be the first and last, but it was memorable to say the least.
So I had all of these things I wanted to talk about and now I'm getting sleepy. No worries though, I will say it all.
So the cousins came to visit and it was their last visit ever, because they are MOVING here in a month. So that should be really good. We had a good time. We hung out, watched movies, ate, hung out, ate more...that's the basics. So they left on Sunday, and since then I have just been sitting around.
Kristin came over yesterday and we had a lot of fun. I don't really know what we did for eight hours... but it was nice to see her. Later that night we had a very awkard encounter, but it was way to awkard to put into words. It was pretty much cricket cricket awkard, maybe even worse. If it can get worse. That's the only way I can describe it.
After swimming today I went to Lauren's and lifted and we just hung out for a while. It's hard when you live with someone for a year and then aren't with them all the time. Well when you like them I guess. And I happen to like my buddy Lauren, and I can't see her every waking minute. And it's really tough, it breaks my heart. Breaks it I tell you. Aww BOO. Is what I say to that. Jen does it much better though.
Speaking of Jen I talked to her today. She's good. I miss her. And I like her dog even though I have never met him. He seems like a strapping young dog.
My buddy Katie on the other hand I have not talked to, only read that her dog passed away. Man, that's gotta be hard. I'm so sorry Katie.
My dogs are really good incase there was any question or wandering going on. Just to clear things up. They smell, but I like them. Good thing. My rabbit is good too. He's old, and he looks cute when he drinks his water but creepy when he yawns. O! Good news, I think that I know someone in my math class that starts next week! That will be a relief!
Speaking of yawning I am tired and delirous. However you spell. And I have only one thing to say, Chris, I can't make out with you today. HA. Ok I don't know what's going on. Who am I? I DON'T KNOW. So yeah when I got home from Lauren's today, who else but TODD AND ALEX were over. So we had an absoutely amazing time watching ESPN. They probably came to see my brothers, but I like to think they still want to be friends with me. Even though I am not as funny, or exciting. They can at least be friends with me because I am good looking right? Riiiight.
H'okay. So you have this world, it is a sweet world you might say. Nice and round... That is just a little clip of the End of the World video on ebaumsworld.com, but I won't give the rest of it away. This has to be the longest post I have ever written, and it is by far the most random and boring. So with that being said I am going to go to bed. HA! I rhyme. I had this dream last night that I got the worst grade on my poetry final paper. The worst in the whole class, and my teacher was worried about my intelligence. There were some pretty messed up kids in that class so to say I did the worst is really depressing. And sadly it's all probably true. It's probably no dream at all! AHH!
K, I am really going to bed now. I'm sure I will be back soon, my life is really eventful and exciting as well at thrilling and amazing. But inbetween sky diving with the American Idol star and deep sea fishing with Brad Pitt and Johnny Damon (they are friends you know), I will find time to write in here. I always manage to find time.
First of all swimming is going, well, swimmingly. It's just fine, I think that things are going to be ok. It was refreshing to swim for Jim again. Secondly, work starts soon and I am head guard! Whohoo! That's the highlight of my life. That I am head guard at the pool my dad manages. So cool, I know. Thirdly, I have no life so I spend a lot of it sleeping. I guess that's good for now considering I will have to do something else when that something else starts. O! And I cleaned my room today and talked on the phone with just about everyone I know. And Creek's graduation is tomorrow, but I don't think I will go. Whatever, I am rambling...Anydangway, I like wireless internet. And cheese. Mmmm cheese cubes. But sometimes I eat too much and my stomach hurts.
Ok, so I have a interesting story. I woke up in a closet the other day.
The end.
Ok, I will tell it in it's entirity.
Went to Matt's for a good time, and it seems like pretty much everyone had a little too good of a time. I won't name names but one person wandered around the neighborhood until her mom had to come drive her home, another broke into someone's house and passed out on their couch. Needless to say they got an MIP. Someone else got sick, and some dumb girl woke up in a closet. Wow. But who says you can't learn something new everytime you go out. Here are some things I learned:
1. Slimfast proves to be a good chaser
2. Teaching people how to do the worm is a little more difficult than it seems
3. Charging your cellular phone before going out is always a good idea, because then you don't look like as much of a loser sitting by all the booze...by yourself.
4. Sleeping in closets is much better than the grass. I'm glad I figured that one out.
5. It's a little awkard when the mom of the person's house you were at makes you hashbrowns in the morning...when everyone is still feeling the effects of the night before.
6. Knocking on people's doors to find someone at nine in the morning is not as fun as it sounds, because I know, it does sound fun. But don't let it trick you.
7. I don't think that anyone would really fall for the hitch hiking to inverness plan.
So that was the party to kick off the summer I guess. It will probably be the first and last, but it was memorable to say the least.
So I had all of these things I wanted to talk about and now I'm getting sleepy. No worries though, I will say it all.
So the cousins came to visit and it was their last visit ever, because they are MOVING here in a month. So that should be really good. We had a good time. We hung out, watched movies, ate, hung out, ate more...that's the basics. So they left on Sunday, and since then I have just been sitting around.
Kristin came over yesterday and we had a lot of fun. I don't really know what we did for eight hours... but it was nice to see her. Later that night we had a very awkard encounter, but it was way to awkard to put into words. It was pretty much cricket cricket awkard, maybe even worse. If it can get worse. That's the only way I can describe it.
After swimming today I went to Lauren's and lifted and we just hung out for a while. It's hard when you live with someone for a year and then aren't with them all the time. Well when you like them I guess. And I happen to like my buddy Lauren, and I can't see her every waking minute. And it's really tough, it breaks my heart. Breaks it I tell you. Aww BOO. Is what I say to that. Jen does it much better though.
Speaking of Jen I talked to her today. She's good. I miss her. And I like her dog even though I have never met him. He seems like a strapping young dog.
My buddy Katie on the other hand I have not talked to, only read that her dog passed away. Man, that's gotta be hard. I'm so sorry Katie.
My dogs are really good incase there was any question or wandering going on. Just to clear things up. They smell, but I like them. Good thing. My rabbit is good too. He's old, and he looks cute when he drinks his water but creepy when he yawns. O! Good news, I think that I know someone in my math class that starts next week! That will be a relief!
Speaking of yawning I am tired and delirous. However you spell. And I have only one thing to say, Chris, I can't make out with you today. HA. Ok I don't know what's going on. Who am I? I DON'T KNOW. So yeah when I got home from Lauren's today, who else but TODD AND ALEX were over. So we had an absoutely amazing time watching ESPN. They probably came to see my brothers, but I like to think they still want to be friends with me. Even though I am not as funny, or exciting. They can at least be friends with me because I am good looking right? Riiiight.
H'okay. So you have this world, it is a sweet world you might say. Nice and round... That is just a little clip of the End of the World video on ebaumsworld.com, but I won't give the rest of it away. This has to be the longest post I have ever written, and it is by far the most random and boring. So with that being said I am going to go to bed. HA! I rhyme. I had this dream last night that I got the worst grade on my poetry final paper. The worst in the whole class, and my teacher was worried about my intelligence. There were some pretty messed up kids in that class so to say I did the worst is really depressing. And sadly it's all probably true. It's probably no dream at all! AHH!
K, I am really going to bed now. I'm sure I will be back soon, my life is really eventful and exciting as well at thrilling and amazing. But inbetween sky diving with the American Idol star and deep sea fishing with Brad Pitt and Johnny Damon (they are friends you know), I will find time to write in here. I always manage to find time.
Monday, May 23, 2005
Torn
I am back once again to start off another week of mystery and adventure. I wish, it's just another day in the life of Jessica. Not too eventful, but I can say that I am not happy with a current situation going on right now. I feel like I am being split down the middle, being torn and I have no idea what to do.
Who would have thought swimming would take such a tole on not only my mind but my soul. I know it sounds corney and dumb, but it is true in a sense. I mean I have been swimming for as long as I can remember and I never rememeber truly loving it until the summer I started with Aquawolves. I mean, I didn't love all of the swimming, but I looked forward to going to practice and swimming with my best friends, swimming with the coach who changed my outlook on the sport. And now it's all coming to an end. I mean, yeah it came to an end when we all went to school, but now it's just more definate, more real to me. Since Jim retired a lot of things have been going through my head, and I don't think I have ever thought that hard about swimming before. I don't necessairly think that you should think too hard about something like that. It should just come and I should just go. Just swim fast has always been my thinking in the past.
I never would have thought Jim coming back would be so bittersweet. It's like a blessing, but a blessing in disguise and not many people are seeing beind the mask, if you will. In a lot of ways I agree with people who are going other places, but then there are times where I just want to shake them and tell them they will never swim with someone like Jim ever again, and they should take advantage of the time he has decided to be here for. But then again most people aren't me, they don't think like me, or train like me, so I guess I will just watch them slip away quietly from the best thing swimming ever had.
I can't control everyone, and it wouldn't be any good even if I could. This is just a part of life and I have noticed the hardest part of life I have had to experience so far; moving on. I hate it more than anything, and I hate the fact that I look back on the way things used to be so much. It definately makes things harder, because there are times where I wish I was numb to change, then it wouldn't hurt so much. There are times where having having a heart of coal would be easier too. Too bad mine is far from it. I have tried teaching myself to look at things from a different perspective, but no matter what, it always comes back to how I feel and, esentially, what is making me smile, what is truly making me happy.
So when thinking about it, it's not hard to know what truly makes me happy; my friends, my family and how I live life. But now it seems all of these things are being split up, and I am holding on to each of them with my both arms, I am feeling like I am going to be ripped in half. Eventually I am going to have to let go of something before it hurts too much more. I have already watched some of my friends go, but I still feel like I have some of them with me, even if it is just their shoelace. Eventually everyone has to decide what they want in life and although it's never goodbye forever, it's almost just as hard. I feel like no matter where I turn, I will be turning my back on someone that cares for me and someone that I care for just as much.
So my situation is probably not that big of a deal from the big picture, but it is my life and this is a huge chunk of it. Thinking about swimming this much is painful just as thinking too much about anything is, but that's not the worst of it, the worst is feeling this much about the people and the sport. The feeling part is what definately hurts the most. And it's probably going to take a long time to heal.
So with all of that said I am going to practice, just a one day trail of the other team, I just wish it wouldn't be this hard. I wish the pain would all go away.
Who would have thought swimming would take such a tole on not only my mind but my soul. I know it sounds corney and dumb, but it is true in a sense. I mean I have been swimming for as long as I can remember and I never rememeber truly loving it until the summer I started with Aquawolves. I mean, I didn't love all of the swimming, but I looked forward to going to practice and swimming with my best friends, swimming with the coach who changed my outlook on the sport. And now it's all coming to an end. I mean, yeah it came to an end when we all went to school, but now it's just more definate, more real to me. Since Jim retired a lot of things have been going through my head, and I don't think I have ever thought that hard about swimming before. I don't necessairly think that you should think too hard about something like that. It should just come and I should just go. Just swim fast has always been my thinking in the past.
I never would have thought Jim coming back would be so bittersweet. It's like a blessing, but a blessing in disguise and not many people are seeing beind the mask, if you will. In a lot of ways I agree with people who are going other places, but then there are times where I just want to shake them and tell them they will never swim with someone like Jim ever again, and they should take advantage of the time he has decided to be here for. But then again most people aren't me, they don't think like me, or train like me, so I guess I will just watch them slip away quietly from the best thing swimming ever had.
I can't control everyone, and it wouldn't be any good even if I could. This is just a part of life and I have noticed the hardest part of life I have had to experience so far; moving on. I hate it more than anything, and I hate the fact that I look back on the way things used to be so much. It definately makes things harder, because there are times where I wish I was numb to change, then it wouldn't hurt so much. There are times where having having a heart of coal would be easier too. Too bad mine is far from it. I have tried teaching myself to look at things from a different perspective, but no matter what, it always comes back to how I feel and, esentially, what is making me smile, what is truly making me happy.
So when thinking about it, it's not hard to know what truly makes me happy; my friends, my family and how I live life. But now it seems all of these things are being split up, and I am holding on to each of them with my both arms, I am feeling like I am going to be ripped in half. Eventually I am going to have to let go of something before it hurts too much more. I have already watched some of my friends go, but I still feel like I have some of them with me, even if it is just their shoelace. Eventually everyone has to decide what they want in life and although it's never goodbye forever, it's almost just as hard. I feel like no matter where I turn, I will be turning my back on someone that cares for me and someone that I care for just as much.
So my situation is probably not that big of a deal from the big picture, but it is my life and this is a huge chunk of it. Thinking about swimming this much is painful just as thinking too much about anything is, but that's not the worst of it, the worst is feeling this much about the people and the sport. The feeling part is what definately hurts the most. And it's probably going to take a long time to heal.
So with all of that said I am going to practice, just a one day trail of the other team, I just wish it wouldn't be this hard. I wish the pain would all go away.
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