My memories can be a bright place, full of happiness and fondness. They can also become a dark place, a reminder of things lost or never to be had again. Sometimes I become overwhelmed by that thought. How we can never go back to how things once were. It almost haunts me. My dreams taunt me with this notion--it swirls in my head more often lately than it has in a long time. I am sometimes a victim to its harsh ways and I surrender easily. Other times I am simply reminded that I am human and raw emotion is the best way to truly feel alive. This thought leads to the simple fact that I am still here, I am living as best as I know how and it is just time to make new memories. Other times this thought leads me into a place I pull myself away from. A place I don't like to go. But there are times when I just cannot fight it anymore. I love what once was. I love what is. I love what will be. But because I know that true love I felt for what once was and I am unsure of the others, I cling to that. I find I must pull myself out before I drown in it. I must learn from this and take it with me to what will be. But it can surely become a heavier burden than I intended. I ache to keep it with me, I ache to let it go. There are times when I am not sure what to do so I just let the tears fall in hopes that they will drain out my cloudy thoughts and wash away the confusion written on my face.
With change comes growth, undoubtedly, every time. In the end, what are we if we don't grow? What are we if we cannot come out stronger from the struggle of change? What are we if we cannot amaze ourselves with our ability to truly live. What are we if it doesn't phase us, confuse us or just rattle us straight to the core? Of course the past is comforting because we have been there--for it is all we know. Of course the future is frightening because the unknown is always that way. And of course we feel the pangs of leaving behind something familiar, something so comfortable. But with those pangs of hurt, confusion, despair come new ones of exploration, growth, confidence, fulfillment. With it comes the pieces that help make you who you are, that make you more complete, more real, more ready to give back and be able to look in the mirror at someone who you can be completely and utterly proud of. Everyone has the ability to do more than they think they can. The human potential is limitless and we have so much to offer one another. I just need to remember this myself, remember that I can be more than I even imagine my best self as. I can walk tall and take the memories I've had with me as a testament of where I've been, and keep an open mind as a testament to where I am going. This journey of life can be what you make it, but if you don't believe in yourself, if you don't realize it's beauty it will not be what it was intended to be. And it can be the greatest thing the universe has ever seen.
With change comes growth, undoubtedly, every time. In the end, what are we if we don't grow? What are we if we cannot come out stronger from the struggle of change? What are we if we cannot amaze ourselves with our ability to truly live. What are we if it doesn't phase us, confuse us or just rattle us straight to the core? Of course the past is comforting because we have been there--for it is all we know. Of course the future is frightening because the unknown is always that way. And of course we feel the pangs of leaving behind something familiar, something so comfortable. But with those pangs of hurt, confusion, despair come new ones of exploration, growth, confidence, fulfillment. With it comes the pieces that help make you who you are, that make you more complete, more real, more ready to give back and be able to look in the mirror at someone who you can be completely and utterly proud of. Everyone has the ability to do more than they think they can. The human potential is limitless and we have so much to offer one another. I just need to remember this myself, remember that I can be more than I even imagine my best self as. I can walk tall and take the memories I've had with me as a testament of where I've been, and keep an open mind as a testament to where I am going. This journey of life can be what you make it, but if you don't believe in yourself, if you don't realize it's beauty it will not be what it was intended to be. And it can be the greatest thing the universe has ever seen.
