Annoyed. Annoyed and bored. Those are my two main feelings right now. Not to mention that I am hungry and tired and overall not in a very good mood. It kinda takes a lot for me to be in a bad mood... ah who am I kidding, it doesn't, a least not any more. I would say I'm not usually in a BAD mood, but I always feel like something isn't here. Anyway, I just would like to express my annoyedness. And thanks to one person in particular, they just increased my annoyance level. Thanks a lot d bag. But mainly it's just a lot of little things that compile that add up to my DEMISE! No, just kidding. Well it's Easter weekend and I am at home having a great time...my rabbit and I just hanging out. Hopefully the cousins are coming soon, I'm really excited to see them.
Excitement aside I have a very serious issue I need to put down in words. I have been sober for a very long time. Now, I don't know how I feel about this issue, I mean it's been so long at this point I don't even want to comsume those alcoholic beverages that I once adored any longer. I know, it's somewhat numbing to read this. It almost feels that way to write it, yet I just don't feel the urge anymore. I mean I should just quit while I'm ahead... wait that made little or no sense whatsoever. What I was getting at is that I don't need to drink for a good time. I create my own. Well it feels good to get that issue off my chest and I hope that I can continue my unintoxicated life with ease and pleasure.
But I do have a boring situation going on right now. And I will tell you what it is. My life. It's just a minor detail, but something I should be a little concerned with anyway. I think that I should take action, yet I'm not quite sure how, you see there are a couple things that tend to get in the way. I usually refer to them as school and swimming but they might as well be refered to as HELL and DEATH. Or the firey pit of doom and torture. Whatever they are called they are kind of getting in the way of what I want to be doing with my life. What do I want to be doing you might ask? Well I don't want to go to school and I'm not so much in the mood to swim. So anything but that and I would be happy.
Well my butt hurts from this chair...so I'm going to go eat...or do something productive such as that. I will probably be back when my bordem comes back full blast again. Bye.
Friday, March 25, 2005
Wednesday, March 23, 2005
Body clock
Ok, well aside from having a not-very-functional body clock right now, that is what I decided to title this poem. So here goes.
Cracks creep up the wall
Seeping through the
Powdery Maroon
As the stale air clings
To the shadow
That creeps upon
Twlight
Dripping through
Thick fog and
Smeering crystal light
Over the ebony that
Cradles the land
Fading into an
Ancient mystery as
Time waits
Yet the echo of
Rhythmic clocks tick
And memories engulf
The darkness
Tragic tears spill
Reflecting a glimmer of hope
That reverberates off the
Mirrored walls
And clings like fresh mist
Rolling the beads of dew
Into the depth that
Morphs
Melts
Hardens into stone
And the ruby soul
Flicks against the ivory
Secronizing with harmony
Within the machine
That creates the spec
Of existance
Who dances to the bitter
Flavor
By the dimmness of the
White light as the
Giant thumb
Is tapping
Tapping
To the music
Of the earth
The planets
As he writes a
Synphony
For the gripless
galaxy
Yeah that was kinda long. Sorry. Also spell checker isn't working, so my spelling is horrible. Welp I have to go to class again...and leave my pathetic attempt at poem writing. And yes, that was supposed to represent something again, it's not that hard to see. Ah my freaking computer is being dumb. CRAP. Well laters!
Cracks creep up the wall
Seeping through the
Powdery Maroon
As the stale air clings
To the shadow
That creeps upon
Twlight
Dripping through
Thick fog and
Smeering crystal light
Over the ebony that
Cradles the land
Fading into an
Ancient mystery as
Time waits
Yet the echo of
Rhythmic clocks tick
And memories engulf
The darkness
Tragic tears spill
Reflecting a glimmer of hope
That reverberates off the
Mirrored walls
And clings like fresh mist
Rolling the beads of dew
Into the depth that
Morphs
Melts
Hardens into stone
And the ruby soul
Flicks against the ivory
Secronizing with harmony
Within the machine
That creates the spec
Of existance
Who dances to the bitter
Flavor
By the dimmness of the
White light as the
Giant thumb
Is tapping
Tapping
To the music
Of the earth
The planets
As he writes a
Synphony
For the gripless
galaxy
Yeah that was kinda long. Sorry. Also spell checker isn't working, so my spelling is horrible. Welp I have to go to class again...and leave my pathetic attempt at poem writing. And yes, that was supposed to represent something again, it's not that hard to see. Ah my freaking computer is being dumb. CRAP. Well laters!
Steaming
I shouldn't have written that list because high speed internet isn't as good as everyone may think. Especially when you spend SEVEN HOURS at the computer place trying to get ride of stupid viruses and spy wear. I wanted to die. Yesterday was the longest day of my life. I will breify show my schedule:
5:30 am WAKE UP
6-7:30 SWIMMING
7:30-9:00 come back, shower do some last min hw, breakfast
9-2 CLASS
2-3 lunch
3:30-10:30 computer place
10:30-11:30 trying to get spy bot to run on my freaking computer
AND THEN BED. Where I woke up every 20 mins because I was parnoid about my computer. Ah what a day. And now I have come back from practice on day 3 of this long week and I just would like to pull out a few poems. One of them was written in class for our assignment (so if it seems weird just disreguard) and the other one was written in the seven hours I was sitting doing nothing. I decided to do something and it took me all of twenty minutes and then, once again I had nothing to do.
Aburn grains sink into my feet
Salty spray of the deep sea
No buildings, just a house
Sitting on top of a dream
But there is a nightmare
He fell through the wall
Mysical powers
Given to the man at the circus
Could he help my friend?
Or would he be able to
Show me the math
What is the equation for swimming
Too far?
Trouble brews from
Cheating
But not from the old smell
From our past
As infatuation takes over
But then
I cussed those boys out
Anger
Doesn't quite describe
Naive
Maybe
There weren't any fish
But we fished anyway
In the icy banks
Of the river where
I almost just flowed
Away
With the glistening heart
Of the current
Then there was the
Three years
In a row
Where I liked him
Where is he now?
I'm not sure bcause
I was laughing too hard
About that
Jumping snail
That she just couldn't do
Off the diving board.
So there it is, my childhood...sorta. I have another one, so I will come back and post that but I have to get ready for a little thing we call class. Plant life here I come! Bye.
5:30 am WAKE UP
6-7:30 SWIMMING
7:30-9:00 come back, shower do some last min hw, breakfast
9-2 CLASS
2-3 lunch
3:30-10:30 computer place
10:30-11:30 trying to get spy bot to run on my freaking computer
AND THEN BED. Where I woke up every 20 mins because I was parnoid about my computer. Ah what a day. And now I have come back from practice on day 3 of this long week and I just would like to pull out a few poems. One of them was written in class for our assignment (so if it seems weird just disreguard) and the other one was written in the seven hours I was sitting doing nothing. I decided to do something and it took me all of twenty minutes and then, once again I had nothing to do.
Aburn grains sink into my feet
Salty spray of the deep sea
No buildings, just a house
Sitting on top of a dream
But there is a nightmare
He fell through the wall
Mysical powers
Given to the man at the circus
Could he help my friend?
Or would he be able to
Show me the math
What is the equation for swimming
Too far?
Trouble brews from
Cheating
But not from the old smell
From our past
As infatuation takes over
But then
I cussed those boys out
Anger
Doesn't quite describe
Naive
Maybe
There weren't any fish
But we fished anyway
In the icy banks
Of the river where
I almost just flowed
Away
With the glistening heart
Of the current
Then there was the
Three years
In a row
Where I liked him
Where is he now?
I'm not sure bcause
I was laughing too hard
About that
Jumping snail
That she just couldn't do
Off the diving board.
So there it is, my childhood...sorta. I have another one, so I will come back and post that but I have to get ready for a little thing we call class. Plant life here I come! Bye.
Monday, March 21, 2005
Back in the swamp...
Walking home from class in the bitter cold wind storm Kristin and I started talking about the things we like about being back at school and the things we don't like. So I decided I was going to make a list... so here it goes.
What I like about being back in Fort Fun:
1. High speed internet
2. Better water pressure
3. The rec center is near...
4. They filled the lake, it looks a lot nicer
5. A good view of the mountians
6. My pillow here is more comfortable
7. I don't have a cerfew
8. My friends are all in one place
9. Hot boys all around (well not ALL around...but around)
10. Um... I am having a hard time...let's move on
Reasons why I don't like being here:
1. SCHOOL
2. The damn wind
3. I miss my friends and family back home
4. Did I mention school already? And homework (that I never do)
5. It's hard to shave in the showers here
6. Swim practice
7. I am sick of dorm food
8. Walking to class
9. Waiting for the bathroom (even though that never happens, it is now)
10. I miss my dogs
11. I don't have a car
Ok already that's enough. Main point is that I hate school. And I am failing out. So I should get going on that homework thing everyone is always talking about. I think I'm going to try it out even though I know I will hate it. Also I still haven't registered my bike and I meant to do that the first day of school...so I will go do that later too. Because today is my last day of doing absoutely NOTHING! Because practice starts tomorrow. O no.
OK well here I go to do something productive, so see ya lata!
What I like about being back in Fort Fun:
1. High speed internet
2. Better water pressure
3. The rec center is near...
4. They filled the lake, it looks a lot nicer
5. A good view of the mountians
6. My pillow here is more comfortable
7. I don't have a cerfew
8. My friends are all in one place
9. Hot boys all around (well not ALL around...but around)
10. Um... I am having a hard time...let's move on
Reasons why I don't like being here:
1. SCHOOL
2. The damn wind
3. I miss my friends and family back home
4. Did I mention school already? And homework (that I never do)
5. It's hard to shave in the showers here
6. Swim practice
7. I am sick of dorm food
8. Walking to class
9. Waiting for the bathroom (even though that never happens, it is now)
10. I miss my dogs
11. I don't have a car
Ok already that's enough. Main point is that I hate school. And I am failing out. So I should get going on that homework thing everyone is always talking about. I think I'm going to try it out even though I know I will hate it. Also I still haven't registered my bike and I meant to do that the first day of school...so I will go do that later too. Because today is my last day of doing absoutely NOTHING! Because practice starts tomorrow. O no.
OK well here I go to do something productive, so see ya lata!
Sunday, March 20, 2005
Wishing it wasn't over
Well it's over. I am so depressed. I can't believe how fast time flies when you're having fun. So there was spring break, but luckily we have less than two months before school is out. Thank the Lord. But they are going to be a long, stressful two months. With spring training starting up and the papers, speeches, tests and projects will be loaded on. BOO.
So yeah the break was really nice. The first weekend I went to starbucks with Chris right when I got back and then went to Boulder for a fun Saturday night. All I can say is HOT DAMN. And why did I dance on the table? WHY? I have a little battle wound from walking home in the snow. In a skirt...and flip flops. It was a Cancun party OK?! Drop it. But it was fun and it was really good to see Elise and Jer and party with them. Sunday we had a surprise party for my grandma's 80th, and let's just say she was pretty surprised. She looked like she was about to have a heart attack, that would have been bad. But it was really good too, it was nice to see the cousins and aunts and uncles...and second cousins...and their kid's kids...
Anyway, that was the day I wanted to go up to Vail to visit Jim since I haven't seen him since August, but the parental units strongly advised against it. So instead I hung out with people, Kristin and I watched the longest movie ever--Troy. At least Brad Pitt looked smoldering sexy and it was the best comedy of the year haha. Went to meet people for lunch one day (Lauren S, Jeremy, my brothers and then Lyle for starbucks) so it was nice to see them. I went to Jenn's with Kristin and went hot tubbing and watched a movie, ran stairs with Lauren the next day (hurts the lungs), played in the sandbox with my dogs and worked out in my room one day.
Thursday I went to Vail with Nathan and Chris, which was really fun. We got to see Jim and we went to dinner with him and rode the gondoloa up to the top of the mountian and walked around up there. We were really goofy the whole night, I don't know what the deal was. But it was a lot of fun. The next day we went skiing at Copper, I had to ski alone. I know, so sad. Kristin and I kept just missing each other. O, but the day started out really bad because I am an idiot and I forgot my boots at Jim's in Vail, so we ended up driving over Vail pass six different times that day. I felt really bad and Nathan was pretty pissed to say the least. So after skiing we went back to Jim's and later Lyle and Susan came and we went to dinner and then headed back home. We had a nice long talk on the way home, I really miss those guys and it was nice to be with them. And it was refreshing to see Jimmy, he was reassurring as always and he made me feel better about things. It was just nice to be with him and I hope he comes back this summer, because his coaching is what kept me going. Needless to say I miss him tons too.
Saturday was another extravaganza in itself because Jen's boyfriend missed his flight because the stupid shuttle was late and we all ended up going to lunch, which was good. Before that though Lauren and I drove circles around the airport for more than an hour. But man do I know the airport well now! So he got a flight later and we ate at Lauren's, went to Andy's for a while and came back to my house and just drove around and then they left and that my friends, was my spring break. Earlier today Ashley came to say hi/bye so I was really excited I got to see her for a minute.
O yeah, and the movie Robots--no good. My brothers and I went to see it and it wasn't really worth it. O man am I tired. And I get to do homework now! YES! My favorite. One week and then I am going home again for Easter, and I'm excited because the family will all be here so it should be fun. Plus I have a shopping date with my mom. But I will have picutures when I finish my roll, I didn't do a very good job with taking them so it will be a little bit. K well I am going to go do homework but I wish we had another week for break. I don't wanna......o no 6 am practice. What a great way to start the week with! Ugg. Ok I will be back. Adios.
So yeah the break was really nice. The first weekend I went to starbucks with Chris right when I got back and then went to Boulder for a fun Saturday night. All I can say is HOT DAMN. And why did I dance on the table? WHY? I have a little battle wound from walking home in the snow. In a skirt...and flip flops. It was a Cancun party OK?! Drop it. But it was fun and it was really good to see Elise and Jer and party with them. Sunday we had a surprise party for my grandma's 80th, and let's just say she was pretty surprised. She looked like she was about to have a heart attack, that would have been bad. But it was really good too, it was nice to see the cousins and aunts and uncles...and second cousins...and their kid's kids...
Anyway, that was the day I wanted to go up to Vail to visit Jim since I haven't seen him since August, but the parental units strongly advised against it. So instead I hung out with people, Kristin and I watched the longest movie ever--Troy. At least Brad Pitt looked smoldering sexy and it was the best comedy of the year haha. Went to meet people for lunch one day (Lauren S, Jeremy, my brothers and then Lyle for starbucks) so it was nice to see them. I went to Jenn's with Kristin and went hot tubbing and watched a movie, ran stairs with Lauren the next day (hurts the lungs), played in the sandbox with my dogs and worked out in my room one day.
Thursday I went to Vail with Nathan and Chris, which was really fun. We got to see Jim and we went to dinner with him and rode the gondoloa up to the top of the mountian and walked around up there. We were really goofy the whole night, I don't know what the deal was. But it was a lot of fun. The next day we went skiing at Copper, I had to ski alone. I know, so sad. Kristin and I kept just missing each other. O, but the day started out really bad because I am an idiot and I forgot my boots at Jim's in Vail, so we ended up driving over Vail pass six different times that day. I felt really bad and Nathan was pretty pissed to say the least. So after skiing we went back to Jim's and later Lyle and Susan came and we went to dinner and then headed back home. We had a nice long talk on the way home, I really miss those guys and it was nice to be with them. And it was refreshing to see Jimmy, he was reassurring as always and he made me feel better about things. It was just nice to be with him and I hope he comes back this summer, because his coaching is what kept me going. Needless to say I miss him tons too.
Saturday was another extravaganza in itself because Jen's boyfriend missed his flight because the stupid shuttle was late and we all ended up going to lunch, which was good. Before that though Lauren and I drove circles around the airport for more than an hour. But man do I know the airport well now! So he got a flight later and we ate at Lauren's, went to Andy's for a while and came back to my house and just drove around and then they left and that my friends, was my spring break. Earlier today Ashley came to say hi/bye so I was really excited I got to see her for a minute.
O yeah, and the movie Robots--no good. My brothers and I went to see it and it wasn't really worth it. O man am I tired. And I get to do homework now! YES! My favorite. One week and then I am going home again for Easter, and I'm excited because the family will all be here so it should be fun. Plus I have a shopping date with my mom. But I will have picutures when I finish my roll, I didn't do a very good job with taking them so it will be a little bit. K well I am going to go do homework but I wish we had another week for break. I don't wanna......o no 6 am practice. What a great way to start the week with! Ugg. Ok I will be back. Adios.
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