Don't you hate when you get in bed and your feet are just so damn cold? I don't think it's possible to go to sleep when you have freezing cold feet. And then you have to get up and put on some blasted socks. I don't like that one bit.
Well I am in a weird mood. And I hate to complain. Well, I do it a lot, but beleive it or not I don't like it one bit. No one really does, but since this is my blog I figure I can do what I want.
I think it's so cool, yet most of the time so sad how certian songs bring back such distinct memories. I mean right when you hear that song your heart seems to yearn to go back to that place and time. Well most of the time. Sometimes there are songs that come on and make me cringe because the time when I listened to it a lot was a strange and dismal time in my life. Well not really, but ya know.
Anyway, I have a bad feeling churning in my stomach. It is the worst and at first I didn't know what it was, but now that I think about it, I am pretty sure it's a feeling of jealously. Quite possibly the WORST emotion to ever feel. I mean, what do you do? Just sit and stew in an angry/sad state. And it does no one good. Not a soul. I avoid this emotion pretty well most of the time. I'm not a very jealous person and I find that's a good thing. If anything it might tack on a few extra years of my life. Or just leave the ones that would be taken away by jealously and stress. What is almost worst than the emotion itself is that I don't know the exact reason why I am starting to feel this way. I think it's just a few things that I can't have that are eating away at me constantly. I'm really happy with the life I life, the college I chose, the people I surround myself with, but sometimes I wish I were doing something else. I don't wish I was someone else ever, because I am happy being me, but I wish I was traveling the world, meeting new people, making friends, going places I will never forget, and anywhere but where I am. That is a bad thing to want. A bad thing to say. I think I'm just getting sick of the same old thing, I like variety in most everything I do and when I end up doing something for too long I get restless.
That's probably it. I don't mind work, but even though it's easy, the boredom can eat you alive. And it's not even that boring. Uhhh my feet are still so damn cold. I also think complaining is a waste of time and effort, because if you don't like something change it. Damnit. But sometimes it just needs to come out. If my feet are cold I should put on some socks. If I want to travel, I need to look into studying abroad. So I will. But I just needed to get that bothersome detail off my chest.
But (there's always a but, isn't there?) there are some things that can't be changed and no one can do anything to help. I don't want to be a baby about it, it's just my feelings that can't be changed as much as I wish they could be. There are times I feel left out of some of the little things life can offer us, and there's nothing I can do about it. It's too bad I am getting so impatient.
Ok, my complaining session is over. No, wait. Not yet.
4th of July is such a grand holiday, yet I feel like mine is always just there. Don't get me wrong, I had a lot of fun last night despite getting rained out at the Rapids game, and Noodles being closed. It's just not my dream Independence Day. Someday perhaps.
Ok now I am done.
Now for my hopes for the future:
1. Attend a midnight showing of quite possibly one of the greatest movies of all time wearing a pirate costume and then go to a party with a bunch of other pirates
2. Grace the lovely band Rusted Roots with my presence. And enjoy their grand music with some grand friends.
3. While I am doing these things I will be in the excellent town of Fort Collins.
4. Go camping with friends from work
5. See friends I haven't seen in much too long
Those are my hopes. I don't know if all of them will work. Or any of them for that matter. It all depends on work, I guess. But that would be amazing if they would work out. I would be so excited.
Some bands that are good to listen to if you are feeling in a depressing mood are Aqualung, The Fray, Coldplay, some Dave songs and of course country. Country is bound to make you depressed any old time. Just kidding. It seems that way though sometimes.
I just felt like making that statement.
On a lighter note, my feet are getting warm!
On a heavier note I have to teach damn lessons tomorrow, workout with my trainer, teach a private, and then work. BOOOO. I don't wanna.
Oh I hope my hopes for the future work out. So badly.
Ok, I am going to go to bed and have good dreams about boogie boarding. That would be sweet. Also I will put up picts from this week in the near future, I've got some really good ones. Quite hilarious. Ok well I am going to leave my fellow bloggers with lyrics from a song that I really like although it's sad. And I'm sure I will be back sooner than later.
Goodnight.
"Twenty years, it's breaking you down now that you understand there's no one around.
Take a breath, take a seat, you're falling apart, you're tearing at the seams.
Heaven forbid you end up alone and you don't know why.
Just hold on tight, wait for tomorrow you'll be alright"
--The Fray
Thursday, July 06, 2006
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