Foxridge sky, beautiful Colorado clouds
Saturday, August 13, 2005
Tuesday, August 09, 2005
Monday, August 08, 2005
Putting on the ritz
I have decided that it's time I wrote in here once again. It's been a while since I've really written in here. Right now I am lying (laying?) in my bed--like I usually do when I write, but tonight I am in extreme pain.
I was talking to Alex earlier and I told him that I was in pain. He asked if it were emotional or physical and my honest answer would probably have to be both. It seems so dumb that someone such as me should have any emotional pain. I really haven't had any hard times with boys or love or really anything of that matter. Besides the fact that there isn't any in my life....but that's another story entirely. I have only lost one family member--my grandpa a few years ago. Although I loved him dearly, I wasn't near as close with him as I am with most of my other realitives, so it was painful, but eventually the pain was dulled and now it is something I don't think of that often.
I want to live by the motto, "don't dwell on the past". O man, I want to so badly. Except my motto these days seems to be "dwell on the past as much as possible. The future is bleak and brings you nothing like the past". It sounds like a depressing fortune cookie or something. So I guess you could say that my emotional pain is the past. Or the people who have touched me and walked out of my life without so much as a goodbye. It comes into my head more than it should. But I must say, lately the future is something I have been truly focusing on for quite sometime. Maybe they have equal time slots in my brain. Which is good, because the past used to take up the present and the future. Now that I think about it, maybe living in the future is just as bad as the past. Maybe my motto should be "there's no time like the present". Whatever it is, I think that each day is a learning experience. About myself and about people around me. I'm not saying that each day is like overcoming a giant task or bounding hurtles that are thrown every which way at me. It's not like that--normally my days are nothing but going through the motions. Or picking my thoughts up where I left them last.
I don't think that makes much sense. But there's my two cents on my internal feelings. I do have some other internal feelings that are right around my large intestine. That is why I say I am in extreme pain, my stomach is killing my. Call me a baby, but it is terrible to have this discomfort.
Anyway, summer is going well. I have six real days left and then it's over. I cannot beleive how fast that went. And now I am getting frantic because of all the shit I have to do and the amount of time I have to do it.
Tomorrow Lauren and I and whoever else in my family are going to water world! It's about damn time. We've been working so much we haven't even been able to do the things that summer is all about. I mean water world is the masscot of summer...next to me of course...
Working the rest of the week because my dad is an idiot. I tell him not to schedule me everyday, and what does he do? He goes right ahead and schedules me everyday. Always finding ways to make my life harder. I am trying to find someone to work for me on Thursday so I can go to Elitches with the girls, but it doesn't look too good. I went to practice today for the first time in a couple weeks. It was fine, I was disappointed because Jim wasn't there and everyone else was. It was weird that everyone showed up on the same day. Probably won't see that again for a while. But the end was bad, because that's when the stomach discomfort started.
Well since I've been back, besides working, I've just been trying to hang out with people before I go. Friday night Ashley had a party, and it ended up being really fun. I had to be the responsible one, which I choose to do, so I guess it wasn't that bad. But that's not to say that I didn't have my fair share of beverages. And dancing in Ash's $110 bright red heals. It was mostly girls, which I think I have gotten used to, but I still don't perfer it. I like the mixture of girls and boys. Plus one of the boys said I had a hot body. Yeeh, that's always a plus!
I also had my grandma's pool party yestday which was good. I had a fun time, it was just a little weird because there were a few different groups of people, but that was expected. I had a really good time--playing tennis, teaching some swim lessons to some unfortunate souls. Just kidding. And of course eating! The food was good, especially the water melon. Mmmm.
After that I went to Skyline with Lauren and we goofed around there for a while and then I went to Kristin's where we watched a movie, ate ice cream and slept on her deck under the stars. It was fun, but we were exhausted and sleeping outside doesn't really rejuvinate me. I woke up shivering a few times and finally we decided to go in at like six thirty in the morn. So I had to wake up and go to work and I felt like I had a terrible hangover. I was so tired and aggitated, and being at the pool with a bunch of little shits doesn't help the mood.
Then my mom and I went shopping and got some sheets. I'll have to look at them tomorrow to see if they were really ok looking. That's how tired I was.
Besides that, I am just beginning to put stuff in boxes to get ready to move! I am going to take some furniture from my room and the basement and the living room. Who knows how all that will look, but o well, at least we have stuff. And my mom got me a queen bed, for all the men that will be sleeping in it with me. Ha. O man, not even funny.
Well my eyes are burning like the ninth ring of hell, so that might be a sign I should close them and go to sleep. But I will try to be back another time before I go. So goodnight for now.
I was talking to Alex earlier and I told him that I was in pain. He asked if it were emotional or physical and my honest answer would probably have to be both. It seems so dumb that someone such as me should have any emotional pain. I really haven't had any hard times with boys or love or really anything of that matter. Besides the fact that there isn't any in my life....but that's another story entirely. I have only lost one family member--my grandpa a few years ago. Although I loved him dearly, I wasn't near as close with him as I am with most of my other realitives, so it was painful, but eventually the pain was dulled and now it is something I don't think of that often.
I want to live by the motto, "don't dwell on the past". O man, I want to so badly. Except my motto these days seems to be "dwell on the past as much as possible. The future is bleak and brings you nothing like the past". It sounds like a depressing fortune cookie or something. So I guess you could say that my emotional pain is the past. Or the people who have touched me and walked out of my life without so much as a goodbye. It comes into my head more than it should. But I must say, lately the future is something I have been truly focusing on for quite sometime. Maybe they have equal time slots in my brain. Which is good, because the past used to take up the present and the future. Now that I think about it, maybe living in the future is just as bad as the past. Maybe my motto should be "there's no time like the present". Whatever it is, I think that each day is a learning experience. About myself and about people around me. I'm not saying that each day is like overcoming a giant task or bounding hurtles that are thrown every which way at me. It's not like that--normally my days are nothing but going through the motions. Or picking my thoughts up where I left them last.
I don't think that makes much sense. But there's my two cents on my internal feelings. I do have some other internal feelings that are right around my large intestine. That is why I say I am in extreme pain, my stomach is killing my. Call me a baby, but it is terrible to have this discomfort.
Anyway, summer is going well. I have six real days left and then it's over. I cannot beleive how fast that went. And now I am getting frantic because of all the shit I have to do and the amount of time I have to do it.
Tomorrow Lauren and I and whoever else in my family are going to water world! It's about damn time. We've been working so much we haven't even been able to do the things that summer is all about. I mean water world is the masscot of summer...next to me of course...
Working the rest of the week because my dad is an idiot. I tell him not to schedule me everyday, and what does he do? He goes right ahead and schedules me everyday. Always finding ways to make my life harder. I am trying to find someone to work for me on Thursday so I can go to Elitches with the girls, but it doesn't look too good. I went to practice today for the first time in a couple weeks. It was fine, I was disappointed because Jim wasn't there and everyone else was. It was weird that everyone showed up on the same day. Probably won't see that again for a while. But the end was bad, because that's when the stomach discomfort started.
Well since I've been back, besides working, I've just been trying to hang out with people before I go. Friday night Ashley had a party, and it ended up being really fun. I had to be the responsible one, which I choose to do, so I guess it wasn't that bad. But that's not to say that I didn't have my fair share of beverages. And dancing in Ash's $110 bright red heals. It was mostly girls, which I think I have gotten used to, but I still don't perfer it. I like the mixture of girls and boys. Plus one of the boys said I had a hot body. Yeeh, that's always a plus!
I also had my grandma's pool party yestday which was good. I had a fun time, it was just a little weird because there were a few different groups of people, but that was expected. I had a really good time--playing tennis, teaching some swim lessons to some unfortunate souls. Just kidding. And of course eating! The food was good, especially the water melon. Mmmm.
After that I went to Skyline with Lauren and we goofed around there for a while and then I went to Kristin's where we watched a movie, ate ice cream and slept on her deck under the stars. It was fun, but we were exhausted and sleeping outside doesn't really rejuvinate me. I woke up shivering a few times and finally we decided to go in at like six thirty in the morn. So I had to wake up and go to work and I felt like I had a terrible hangover. I was so tired and aggitated, and being at the pool with a bunch of little shits doesn't help the mood.
Then my mom and I went shopping and got some sheets. I'll have to look at them tomorrow to see if they were really ok looking. That's how tired I was.
Besides that, I am just beginning to put stuff in boxes to get ready to move! I am going to take some furniture from my room and the basement and the living room. Who knows how all that will look, but o well, at least we have stuff. And my mom got me a queen bed, for all the men that will be sleeping in it with me. Ha. O man, not even funny.
Well my eyes are burning like the ninth ring of hell, so that might be a sign I should close them and go to sleep. But I will try to be back another time before I go. So goodnight for now.
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