Nothingness with everything written all over it

Welp, I'm back for yet another exciting post. Yipee. Midway through summer report: Same as beginning of summer report. My exciting days usually consist of:
Lessons 10-11
Work 11-3:30
Come home and either do hw or sit until either swimming rolls around at 6:15 or 6 on Tues or Thurs if I have math.
I can't lie, I have been hanging out with people which is nice, but I would like to be doing that a little more than working.
Today I went to my brothers' swim meet (summer league) which was good, it was so damn hot. I cheered them on along with my cousin as a nice older sister/cousin would do. It was my only day to sleep in, but my dad woke me at 9. Boo.
I was there for a couple of hours and actually saw two of my pryer best friends. It seems kinda weird that I would say that or that it would matter, but I have been thinking about friends and life lately and it all makes sense in my head. They were good, I am still on good terms with one of them, he is just busy as am I so it's been hard to get together a lot. On the other hand the other one was basically the same person he was except he just got more...distant, lightly put. Very lightly put. I am debating on just letting it go forever or to try to rekindle what we used to have. I kinda just feel like yelling at him and then kicking him, but we all know I am much more mature than that. Anyway the overall status from the meet was that it was hot and long.

After that I met my good buddy Lauren at her pool and we hung out there for a couple hours and then I went to her house and had dinner and we hung out more after that with other people later. It was really nice to see her and talk to her for a long time, cause it's been a while since we've been able to do that. We had a good long talk and it basically came down to life itself. And her true happiness with where she is in life. I hope I helped her, the situation is extremely difficult.

The talk did make me think about life though and how ridiclous and stupid everyone is. And when I say EVERYONE I mean pretty much every damn person that I know. There are a few that could be discluded, but I even include myself in this. I hate it how people don't like so and so and I don't talk to him or her because of this and that. And yes, I do realize that I get caught up in that drama a lot, but when I was laying the grass looking at the stars tonight I just thought about how small we truly are. I mean we live in this earth, which is a huge thing to us, but then there's the universe and we don't even know how big that is. It continually amazes me how vast this galaxy is. And it always makes me see that we aren't even specs in time. I know I've written about this before but it always gets me how everyone can get so caught up in so much petty shit when there is no reason to. I just need to continually ask myself what really matters. What is the real reason we are here? How do I want to live my life? I don't really know a lot of that, which is scary but at the same time exciting and new. And right now I kind of like the feeling of not having total control of where I am going, it is interesting where I am headed when I am half way blind. I know it won't always be like this, but I'm crusin this way for a while to come.

Well, it's been a long day and I have to get up early tomorrow so I am going to bed. I hope I don't try to strangle someone because they broke my bike in my dream tonight. Because I was pretty pissed in that dream last night.

Ahh, summer. Ahh, life. Nothingness with everything written all over it. Night.