Rusty Hinges

Yet another summer day. I know I'm going to miss it on a cold winter night when I'm sitting in my room doing homework, that's for sure.

Well I'm going to go right to what I was just thinking about. I was wondering why everyone always finds the bad in things. I mean, yeah there are days where we complain a lot and days where we are extremely optimistic, but sadly the days where we complain seem to be much more prevelant. And why people always seem to pick out the bad in other people so quickly. Everyone does it, it's almost just habit to jump right in with your opinion about someone and 9 times out of 10 it's not really something that you would say to that person's face. Some people are different, not offering their opinion or saying something nice, but when was the last time you heard "Oh yeah Mary? She's the coolest girl ever and so smart--really good at painting and cutting carrots" Well never probably, but something along those lines. What I'm getting at is we tend to pick apart people's faults rather than their strengths. Not always, but usually. And complaining does have it's fair share in the typical conversation. Don't get me wrong, I do it more than most anyone, but why? I doubt that by whining about it, it's really going to make it better. Even my math teacher was talking about something like that. He told us his son was crying and he asked his son if the crying is going to make him feel better. It never really does (ok, I take that back--it never really does with physical pain) but we do it anyway.

I was just trying to think about what people would say about me if I weren't there. Like if they were asked about me, what they would describe me like. It would probably be something along the lines of "O Jessica? Well she's blond, pretty tan but never wears sunscreen--I bet she'll get cancer. She is a sweet girl but is midly retarded and really bad at math, more specifically fractions. O yeah and she's a stupid bitch. But nice most of the time."
Eh, I don't know exactly, but beleive it or not those are the descriptions I have gotten from people who know me. And I just compilled them together. And there are like two things that could be considered nice. The rest is picking out my faults. And those are my faults, I am not arguing that at all, I think all of that is true, but aren't there other things that are true about me? Things that I am maybe good at? Am I good at anything? Well I would probably have to think about that. Hold on though, I am midly retarded so it might take me a minute to process.

This is why people are so self conscious. Not all of the reason, but society picks out people's faults way way way more than what they are good at. Sometimes one fault is picked out and the person isn't even considered "good enough" to be friends with under their standards. Granted, I am making up some fictional person who seems to be pretty shallow... or maybe it is just most guys. A concrete example of that would be a girl's looks. One glance tells it all for some. I can't help but say that's a little upsetting.

My whole point is that well 1) I am guilty of following this trend and 2) I am going to try to be more optimistic about people and other things. Less complaining. And maybe if more people were to follow this maybe the next time someone would ask about me the response would be more like "O Jessica? She's cool, pretty laid back, funny, she really likes to write, even though she sucks a big one at it. And she has always been a good friend to me."
Ha, I had a hard time with that one. And it proves my point pretty much exactly. I could easily make a list about 20 things that were wrong with me, but when asked to do the opposite, I would have a hard time thinking of even 10 things that I liked about myself. I'll work on that and get that within the next 30 years.

Ok, enough about that, I am definately rambling and going in circles. Instead I will talk about my day...which is pretty much the same as all the rest of my days, with a few things twisted around.
Well I woke up and taught swim lessons where I am running out of things to tell the little kids. There is nothing to do but play Mr. Shark and tell them to blow bubbles and use their big arms. Good thing tomorrow is the last day.
After that I worked, which was fine, it's still so damn hot. Then came home and my math tutor came over. I've never met him, he was nice, but who knows if there's any hope left for me in math. Then I went back to the pool since I knew I wasn't going to practice (if there was any) because I was working a party and I swam laps. And helped my cousin with her flip turn. Then I worked the chaotic "Swim under the stars" night the swim team was doing. Then I came home, talked on the phone a bit, ate some chicky and watched most of two movies.

So not too eventful. Last night I hung out with John and Alex (after class), we ventured to sketch waffle house, which was ok. Just a side note, it's ok if you don't use the whole thing of butter they give you. It's probably more than enough. Let's see... the night before that Elise, Ash and I went to Jenn's and watched Hitch. Afterwards I wanted frosting so Ashley and I went and got some and we ate it while she helped me with math. O man, I am such a fatty. I finished it this morning too. Sooo damn good though. I might have to get another before the summer is over.

Um, the night before that I was going to meet Elise and Laura at a party, but I decided against it and just hung out here, mostly talking on the phone with Kristin. And that day I was at the pool ALL day. When I wasn't working I was swimming there. First time all year I just stayed to swim and I was surprised that I was so entertained. And of course I hung out with my dad for the holiday in his favor. So that brings me back to when I last wrote and this is getting way too boring. Not to mention long.

Not to add to the boringness, but I am excited for tomorrow because it's my day off after lessons and I am going to meet Lauren and Ashley T. at Skyline. Another day at the pool, but at least I won't be working. Back to work on Friday, hopefully there will be practice--I really need to do something. My friend Katie called and left a message about a concert, so hopefully I'm not working and I can go with her to that. But I think I might be working...

Besides that, that's pretty much it. I am missing my girls--I think I am going to try my best to plan a trip to Chicago and we'll all have a fun weekened there. But we'll see about that. One month until North Carolina! I need to start counting down. And I need to plan a pool party at my grandma's. And a guard party. Ahh! Ok, well I am going to bed so I don't have to think anymore. That was too long. Goodnight.