6 words or less

Learning
The
Beauty
Of
The
World

My post today is inspired by my dear friend who also wrote this post (and much more elegantly than I can), and because I found her post so inspiring I decided to copy her. Those were the first six words that came to my head when I decided to write this. I feel like it is true enough, and definitely defines where I'm at right now in life. Learning the beauty of life and the world. I think I began to explore the meaning of beauty at the end of college. I would start to see the people around me for what they were to me and how they had influenced me, I began to see how beauty influenced my mood, if people were kind and good I would be happy, if the flowers were in bloom my spirit would lift, if the skies were blue and I got to be out looking at them I would be content. Slowly I was learning that if I too, was light hearted and happy then the beauty of the world and others around me would continued to shine, regardless if the sky was blue or if the flowers were blooming. Japan further altered my perception of beauty and what it means to truly have a beautiful soul. The people there, the lifestyle, the tradition and strong values made me realize the world outside my own bubble, the world that had been somewhat small became an vast canvas for me to paint my ideas and begin to make sense of the colors I had not even seen before. After I returned from my journey I continued to explore; reconnecting and strengthening old relationships and forming new ones. Even taking a walk out of my front door offers a whole new world of beauty and different beauty upon that each time I go. I see new families, I see people being active, people enjoying a coffee, people playing with their dogs, people loving people. I am constantly reminded that we are not alone in this world, and we do not have to feel that way. EVER. I see the strength in masses and what people can do when they all have a voice together. I see the beauty of a helping hand and the love that comes with a community. I take in all of this with such hope that others see what I do and want to continue to make our world BEAUTIFUL. While I do not have all the colors of the world on my canvas yet, I cannot wait to explore more, and take in all that this world has to offer me and paint something that is truly exquisite. Something has to be said for something as beautiful as the smile of a friend, and even more so the smile of a stranger and for that, we all have to strive to be that stranger and to lend a hand as we continue to paint our own canvases.

Rules To Live By

So I have been deciding I want to make some rules that I live by and some that I would ideally like to live by someday. So here it is--not all of them have been perfected but I sure am going to try :)

Jessica’s 100 Rules to Live by:

1. Sleep in whenever you can

2. Dance even when you are alone

3. Video journal

4. Real journal

5. Kiss. A lot

6. Hug more than you think is necessary

7. Read all sorts of genres

8. Laugh at stupid jokes. Especially if they are yours

9. Be respectful of everyone

10. Ride your bike on nice days

11. Travel as much as possible

12. View everyday as an opportunity to do something exciting

13. Treat your body well

14. Indulge yourself every once in a while

15. Have lots of sex with the person you love

16. Be grateful

17. Keep in touch with friends

18. Tell your family you love them

19. Tell your friends you love them

20. Surround yourself with brightness

21. Stop to smell the flowers

22. Drink hot chocolate when it’s cold and lemonade when it’s hot. Or vise versa, they’re both good.

23. Take in the beauty of nature

24. Enjoy your thinking time in the shower.

25. On days where you are feeling icky, get a little something to make you feel good (but not guilty later J).

26. Cuddle

27. Support your loved ones

28. Look at the good in someone until they prove you wrong. Then look past it and find the good again.

29. Collect souvies from places you’ve been

30. Go lots of places

31. Take walks without music

32. Go on runs with music

33. When the weather gets nice don’t wear shoes unless you are going on a long run. But if it’s too hot just don’t go on a long run. Lay out and drink lemonade instead.

34. Live alone at one point in life

35. Fix the negative instead of complaining about it

36. Get a dog, they will love you no matter what

37. Paint your nails bright colors

38. Light up your house with fun candles

39. Surprise people

40. Stretch

41. Swim

42. Take in the beauty of sunsets and sunrises

43.Talk to your grandparents

44. Send snail mail

45. Scuba dive every chance you get

46. Soak up the sun (but put on a little sunscreen first)

47. Try new adventures

48. Laugh, smile, tell jokes. It’s when you look the best anyway.

49. Do what you are best at and what you love often. It’s what fills your soul.

50. Live in another country for at least a year

51. Recycle even if you don’t have a bin. Most likely your neighbors will and who will yell at you for recycling?

52. Don’t dye your hair too much. Or waste too much time putting on make-up or doing your hair. Maybe just for special occasions.

53.If you don’t feel good, sulk for a few minutes and then get over it. No one likes an Eore.

54. Make opportunities for yourself

55.Experience other cultures and don’t forget them once you leave

56. Remind yourself where you have been

57. Take lots of pictures. You will never be as young as you were in that picture.

58. Ride horses, swim with dolphins, pet tigers, ride elephants, go to the aquarium and the zoo, feed the ducks, get a fish and some flowers. Be in tune with the other creatures that live on this earth.

59. Skydive, bungee jump, para sail, cliff jump, white water raft, ski, go off the high dive, go on a hot air balloon

60. Feel good after you have helped someone. Not for you, but for them

61. Don’t let money run your life

62. Go to concerts

63. Take relaxing moments

64. Cook and bake. It’s fun and you will be liked even more if you are good at it

65. Share your life with others

66. Entertain--have people over and play fun games

67. Surround yourself with others, but give yourself YOU time

68. Floss everyday

69. Don’t wash your hair everyday

70. Paint

71. Look forward to a family but love the moment when you only have to worry about you

72. Go on spontaneous little trips

73. Clean your space of living. Then take a deep breath and clear your mind

74. Don’t start something if you can’t finish it

75. Road trip

76. Go hiking

77. Wash your sheets and smell them when you cuddle into bed

78. Listen to the sound of water

79. Talk to your siblings

80. Listen to your siblings

81. Take pride in you

82. Eat lots of fruit and veggies and meat

83. Compliment others

84. Take time to reflect

85. Own at least four pair of sunglasses

86. Follow directions

87. Take care of your car

88. Be minimalistic and if you buy something, use it

89. People watch

90. Think about the vastness of space, realize we might not be alone

91. Cry when you are sad, but only for a little while

92. Wear your retainers if you have them

93. Tell others about your dreams

94. Be ok with wasted time

95. Don’t sell yourself short of your potential

96. Utilize your storage space

97. Utilize Skype

98. Make mix CDs or playlists and share them

99. Don’t be afraid to say how you feel

100. Find inner peace

Listen to yourself

All too often I am hit with the realization that life is going by way too fast. As I get older it seems to be happening more and more lately and I don't really know what to do about it. I literally feel guilty it's going by so fast because that means I am thoroughly enjoying it. Although no one said I can't enjoy life, there is a big part of me that thinks I should be doing more things that provide an outlet for me on a bigger scale instead of just the ME scale. I think part of it is fear, I think the other part is ignorance, and there might be some more parts that are lazy and sometimes even unmotivated or indifferent. Eventually I want to be a teacher and everything I have been doing since I graduated has been leading me on that path (well, everything I do professionally). I want to coach because I think there is so much I can give and even more I can learn from coaching the sport I am passionate about. So I coached high school and I am coaching year around right now. I want to give all that I am to my friends and learn from them as well. I feel as though I am on the right path there. I want to make a difference. Now this is where I am getting caught up. There is no doubt in my mind I have made a difference to a few people (well, outside of my family) and I think I will continue to do so. But how do I make a difference on a bigger scale than just the people that live in this town? Do I want to even do that or is that a dream that wasn't really mine in the first place, it just seemed like a good idea when I heard of it?

I feel like it is hard in the position most middle class Americans are in because they are trapped within themselves and many of them are ok with it. Many of them are not but don't know what to do about it. Many of them don't even realize they are trapped within the confines of their own comfort zone. That is the worst because if you don't realize that, there is no way you can even begin to think about venturing outside of what you see around you. I think I am in the second group. I feel myself stir sometimes and other times I am content to just stay where I am because I am happy and comfortable. I feel I have pushed myself out of my comfort zone many times before and I was always glad with the result, always happy I did so, but right now I feel like I am not ready to move. It's like when you're really comfy in your bed but your arm fell asleep so you really don't want to move it although you know if you don't you will regret it later. So once you get out of your position and let your arm wake up you are actually really happy you did it although it caused to you move from that position you originally liked so much. But now you are in a position you like even more because your arm feels great. It was just tricky getting into that position. Right now I feel as though I have something great to share with the world, or at least start with the world around me and see where I can go, but at this moment I am just thinking of my strategy of how to do so instead of actually doing it. Sometimes I want a little push and sometimes I don't. Right now I am not really sure what I want at all. Being happy is great, knowing that life is wonderful is in itself wonderful, but feeling as though you are not doing enough is my issue here. Just a tiny missing piece. I am still tired at the end of the day though. Where do I get the energy? Where do I get the time to do all that I should? All that I am supposed to do?

I'm on the brink of something...maybe it's just that nap I really need to take. Maybe it will help me clear my thoughts and help my writing because this is probably the worst writing I have ever done. But sometimes blogs are just that--thoughts that are just put into words so you can hear yourself think. Maybe one day I will be able to hear my questions and answer them right back.

New Year's FUN!

Hello friends out there in the cyber world. Or maybe I should friend. I decided on a day at the computer that I would write a small survey and send it to myself and my friends. So far I've heard back from two friends. Such dedicated souls. Here are my answers discussing years past and years to com!

1. What is one thing you would work harder on this year that you did last year?

Just being more motivated in everything I do. I want to work hard at getting a job, apply to go back to school, get back into swimming with a team and train for at least one tri and maybe a running race or two. I would also like to be better about sending mail to people--especially thank you notes and birthday cards. I always send birthday cards when it's people's half birthday and they probably think I am so dumb.

2. What is one thing you are happy with that you would keep doing the
same from last year to this year?

Just enjoying the little things. Although not having a steady job is sometimes stressful (esp in the bank dept), I really enjoy the days I have off and I always feel like it's nice that I don't have to be at work five days a week 7-4...I also think I'm pretty happy with my friends in regards of how I keep in touch with them. I am happy with eating cheese as well. I think I will continue it into the new year even though I should probably stop eating it considering my pants are getting a bit tight...

3. If you had to choose one year to go back and re-live (without
changing anything) what would it be? Why?

Wow, great question. That's a hard one. I think I would either go back to my senior year of high school or the year I spent in Japan. I feel like I did a lot of growing and exploring who I am. I wrote every single day both of those years and it is really interesting to go back and see how even my writing changes as the year goes on. I feel like both of these years increased my confidence as a person and helped me grow into myself. The difference was that senior year I didn't really realize it until later where as in Japan I was growing and knowing. Haha. But yeah, I was knowing how this was helping me grow as the year went on and I did some of the best writing I've ever done because I was in such a sensitive spot. I also did some of the best beer drinking I've ever done. It really was quite impressive how much I drank.

4. Name three events in your life that forever changed you. Have any
of these been in the past year?

I can't pick just three. So how about six:
1. Japan
2. Crossfit
3. i have. i give. and Big Brothers Big Sisters
4. Falling in love
5. Swimming/Coaching
6. Subbing/Teaching

Well some these things have gone into this past year. But not all of them. Why didn't you ask how these events changed you? The person who wrote this needs to think about their questions a little better.

5. What age are you most looking forward to? Why?

As much as I don't want to rush the time by and as much as I love love love being 25, I am excited for 35. I hope to be married by then and having or thinking about having a baby. I think that is super exciting! I am also excited for when I am 90 because that will mean I am still alive. And that's pretty exciting after all that beer I drank in Japan.

6. Look back on 2002. Were the pivotal people in your life then still
the most important to you now? How many people since then have you met
that have influenced you in a way you will never forget?

Ah, ten years ago. 16 was a fun age. Well, I guess I was almost 16. At this time I was planning for my super sweet sixteen where I rented out a warehouse and threw a fit the whole night because the acrobats were late. Just kidding. I remember for my birthday we rented a limo that took us to The Melting Pot where we feasted and then we came back and I opened presents. I was a sophomore so I was swimming on varsity that year but I still wasn't super close with the girls I would get to know by the end of my high school swimming. My best friends at my party are people that I sometimes see on facebook except Ashley G, Kristin and obviously I am still very close with both of them!

Since then the people I have met who've influenced me is a great amount. I will not disclose names over this highly popular blog.

And obviously my family but I met them before I was 16 and probably a few others I am forgetting. That's a lot of people who have influenced me, and I'm sure many more are to come!

7. What was your favorite moment(s) from last year. So far this year
what have your favorite moments been?

Last year my favorite moments were going to St. Kitts and Belize (well technically that was the year before last), I always loved going skiing and staying up in the mtns with friends. Matt and Ashley's wedding was a great moment, going on walks around the park with Ashley, having long chats with Ang, Lauren, Ash and Kristin, Rockies games, Broncos games and even Nuggets games, lots of good moments with Caleb, concerts--John Butler Trio, Skylab, Decadence, Savoy, holidays of course, reading the night before Christmas with my mom and my aunts on Christmas eve, watching football with my dad, talking with my cousins in our bunk room before we go to bed, skyping with Japan friends and my bro, dancing with friends and alone :), late nights ordering DP dough or out at the bar, coaching, writing and I always love reading a good book in the hot sun (usually while I get paid!) and every time I ate cheese. So far this year my favorite moments have been the Broncos game I went to, relaxing on the weekends, Decadence and the dance party after that, last Friday night where I went skinny dipping on the lawn, had a threesome (in French), I think I broke the law but I'd do it all again. Probably next Friday night. Just kidding that is stolen from a terrible artist with a terrible song. Last Friday night was fun because I went to dinner with a really cute guy who I have a big crush on and then I was able to sing during karaoke and then dance the night away. I did regret it the next day but it was still a great memory. That's about all for now. I think more memories are to come. I think. But I could be wrong.

8. Look forward to 2022. What would you like your life to look like?
Where are you living? Whom with? What kind of job do you have? Kids?
Pets? Are you still doing anything the same that you are doing now?
What do you do for fun? Are you truly happy?

This question is a little scary to me because I am not really sure where I will be. Ideally I would love to have a kid or two and be married to the love of my life and live somewhere that is refreshing and invigorating. Either in Colorado or by the beach. I would like to still be friends with all my friends now and have a few more. I would like to be teaching, coaching and in the summer relaxing with my kids. By this time I hope to have had lots of summers to work and then go do some volunteer work around the world with my husband (maybe when the kids are older during the summer and they could be at camp for a few weeks). I would like to have two dogs and be happy and healthy. I would like to keep swimming in the mornings and the other days when I can riding my bike and running, maybe sticking to my one or two triathlon goal per year. I would like to be doing charity work when I can and being a good mother and example for my kids as well as a good wife. I want to never grow old and boring and I always want to be trying something new and exciting. I will be firm but loving with my kids and if they are good I will take them on spontaneous day trips! I would like to still go out with my friends as much as I can and go hiking and it would be great if my "I Heat Tuna" book is in the works of being published. I would like to write for a health magazine or a swimming one. That would be cool. If all of this worked out I wouldn't have to teach probably but we'll see if I would still want to do it. I want to be the life of the party, the voice of reason and a good example for all of those around me!

9. List three New Year's Resolutions you have this year.

1. Get in shape before Ashley's wedding
2. Apply to grad school
3. Be completely present everywhere I am

10. Name one thing that you think would be out of your comfort zone
but you would be willing to try in the next year.

Bungee jumping or shark diving. Or just getting a normal job.

11. Name one thing you have always wanted to do but just haven't
gotten around to it yet that you would really like to do this year.

Get my ear pierced, get a tattoo, squat 215 lbs, go to Austin, black flip off the diving board, write in my blog three times a week, make a new friend or two, give up meat for a little bit (maybe a month), run a 8 min mile, swim a 56.0 100 Free. (I realize that is a lot more than one thing. I just couldn't narrow it down. Sorry! Geeze!)

12. Name a crazy, hilarious. scary, adventurous, nerve racking or just
ridiculous thing that you would probably never do but if you were to
lose your mind this might be the year to do it in.

Give up cheese! No, I couldn't do it. How about apply for the JET programme again! Ah! Crazy! Hilarious! Scary! Adventurous! Nerve racking! Ridiculous! I would never do it! But if I were this would be the year to do it in if I decided to!

Happy New Year!

The Time Jessica Actually Wrote in Her Blog. By Jessica

As usual it has been many moons since my last post. But after reading my dear friend, Lauren's blog I decided I could at least start to shoo away my writer's block by starting with a simple exercise that asks questions about everyday life and feelings. And if I can't write by answering these questions I don't really know if I can consider writing one of my strong points anymore. I mean all I have to do is tell the truth and everyone knows I can't even lie for the life of me. So here I go, taking the step to get writing again. Now that winter break is starting I will have loads of time! So much I will be able to write maybe two, three maybe even four times a day! Ok, well that is a lie. I don't think that would even be healthy. So here goes a fun exercise stolen from Lauren who stole from someone else. Tis the world we live in.

watching: About to be watching a grip of seventh graders. The first one fist pumped when he saw I was here. I guess I better crack the whip before they think I'm all bunnies and rainbows.

eating: My salmon and coffee. Which you might think is a weird combination in which case you might think that brussel sprouts, carrots, salmon and coffee is even more weird but it is actually really delicious. Did I mention this is all room temp since I took it out of my fridge 4 hours ago? Did I also mention it's not even eleven in the morning? At least my coffee is hot.

drinking: I already told you. Geeze, don't you listen? A cappuccino from Panera. It really is hitting the spot right now.

wearing: Well as it turns out the same outfit from last night at the bars minus the pants. I am wearing school pants that are gray plaid, so please don't report me to the substitutebadoutfit hotline. It seems to be a good school outfit. I was quite excited when I realized I could wear it because it meant I didn't even have to change once I put it back on at my boyfriend's house. The mental relief of this was pretty significant because along with this I also remembered my leftover salmon which means I didn't have to rush around getting an outfit and lunch together, and instead I can focus on remembering everything for the swim meet I am coaching later. Unfortunately, I forgot my clip board (I can't find it actually) as well as my stop watch. Besides my tennis shoes and shirt those were the two most important things I would need to be a decent high school swim coach. The thought of being ill-prepared usually makes me, well, ill. At least I remembered to bring a fork AND a spoon today. It's the little things in life.

avoiding: So many things. But mostly getting insanely ripped. I just can't decide if the work is worth the benefit.

feeling: Pretty good, thanks. Hopeful the future will bring me hot sex and an early bedtime. A girl can dream.

missing: My friends in far away lands like Australia, Connecticut, Oregon, Texas, South Africa and Japan. I also miss my youth. The days of childhood frivolity are long since past and my heart yearns for them like a druggie yearns for his crack cocaine.

thankful: Personally I think this should say thankful for: like that. Because thankful by itself just means pure thankful. Which I am. So I guess I can just keep it as is. It looks like I didn't even need to write anything. Don't you hate when people just write and write and write and write and write for really no purpose at all?

weather: It's pretty nice out I'd say. I wore a scarf to school so still a bit chilly. Which is probably to be expected since it's December. Which means I should probably stop yelling cuss words into the air when it's cold. On a good note the kids of the town now have a very colorful vocabulary.

needing: money, fame, a thin body, a master's degree, to finish my scrapbook, and mostly just love. That's all we really need isn't it? Didn't the Beatles make that pretty clear?

thinking: Yes, I am thinking. I'm glad someone assumed so. Usually it is questionable but there are occasions where I am. OH! You were asking WHAT I was thinking. Why didn't you just say so?! I am thinking about puppies, school, New Year's Eve, Christmas, sex, drugs, alcohol, swimming, running, biking, texting, kissing, hugging, laughing, college, money (or lack thereof), boys (well, one in particular), friends, family (let it be known that these are in no particular order), skiing, snowshoeing, horses, shopping, manicure, pedicure, hair, gym, my painful toe, writing, reading, cleaning, sleeping, dancing, crickets (there are a bunch in this classroom--in a container thank goodness, and they are f-ing annoying!), scuba diving, the beach, tanning, cuddling, Family Guy, House, Christmas movies, abs, Japan, airplanes, time.

loving: Life.
And scene.

Snow Day!

Pretending I work really hard everyday as a real life teacher, I am going to generate the same enthusiasm an everyday teacher feels when they get the call that school has been cancelled because of a snow day. And today is that day! SNOW DAY! What is unfortunate is that I am not a real teacher so I actually haven't worked all week and I have no real teacher friends that I could hang out with. Well, except my mom and my brother. Maybe I should give them a call. So honestly, this is just another day at home where I give myself the old "its too cold to go outside but I should just get over it because I live in Colorado and I can't be a big willy so now I should feel guilty about not getting things done" thought process. So here I am on another non-working day with little motivation to go out into what you see in that picture. Maybe my motivation will really strike up if I make a list. Lists always perk me up, so here goes.

Things to do during a snow day:

1. If you had to work the beginning of the week then you can celebrate the fact that you are not working today

2. Go back to sleep until at least lunch time

3. Make a big, warm breakfast with a nice hot drink

4. Catch up on some terrible daytime TV

5. Clean around your abode

6. Blog a little

7. Check your bank account and realize you probably should stay in because going out would just cause you to spend money you don't have

8. Think about going to the gym

9. Wish your friends would ditch work

10. Try to see who isn't working so you can figure out something

11. Realize there is really no one not working and even if they aren't you would have to go into that wintery not-so wonderland

12. Call your mom

13. Call your grandma

14. Make a dance video from one of today's hottest jams

15. Read through old journals

16. Watch the travel channel for way too long

17. Look at old pictures

18. Think about the good old days

19. Think about what to do this weekend

20. Check the weather

21. Watch the Food Network

22. Call some friends

23. Take a nap

24. Watch some YouTube videos from Lord of the Dance

25. Take a stab at being your very own Lord of the Dance

26. Watch a million Sex and the City episodes you've already seen

27. Paint your nails

28. Do some sit-ups

29. Try your hand at yoga

30. Decide that maybe you yoga isn't really your thing

31. Realize you've really done a good job of wasting time and now the day is over

32. Go to bed.
*Please note that all items listed were not all performed on one specific snow day, rather dispersed over years of snow days, days not working, days spent sick, days when it was too hot to go out, days when it was too rainy to go out, days when the mood didn't strike to go out, weekends when others were all on vacations or the writer was on a vacation in a boring place with no human interaction*
**Also please note that now that this is posting a day late two items should be added to the list that the author actually DID do and not just think about doing:
33. Help your boyfriend set mouse traps, clean his room (which included finding a few of your belongings you thought you would never see again after last spring as well as the floor of his room and his closet)
34. Eat Chipotle
35. Watch Cars 2
36. Decide that snow days are overrated and take a job with bratty middle schoolers for the last two days of the week.**

Happy snow day!